Tricks For Your Nervous System

What’s the first thing you think or feel when someone tells you you should…

SMILE 🙂

• F$ck off (F$uck right off).
• Not a chance.
• I don’t want to! (I DON’T WANT TO!)
• I don’t feel like it.
• I can’t.
• Don’t tell me what to do(!)
• You can’t make me.
• That’s dumb, I don’t feel like smiling.
• I’m trying (sob).
• I wish I could (sob).

This simple and harmless request has, I think, psychologically damaged some us to be sure. We’ve heard it in the terribly condescending ways from our elders (my grandparents for sure), women we’ve often heard it from men, children have heard it from parents, lovers have heard it from lovers.

Sometimes it’s because other people are uncomfortable with our sadness or lack of “happiness”. (That’s when I have the thought “f*uck right off”). Sometimes it’s because that person cares deeply for us and doesn’t want us to hurt. Sometimes it’s because (if your a woman or a child) you’re supposed to be pretty/cute…right?

The truth is, though, there’s something actually scientific about making the shape of a smile on our face that changes us physiologically, it shifts our nervous system state (vagus nerve working with critical facial nerves), and when our nervous system shifts, our behavior and emotions shift.

That’s not anecdotal. That’s science.

BUT…

You have to be willing (mostly).

When you’re willing, and can soften to the possibility, smiling comes easier, it’s gentler, and with a little repetition your body responds, your gut lightens, your heart opens, and love, joy, gratitude…seap in.

AND…

Sometimes we’re just not able to muster willingness. That’s when sticking a pen or pencil between your teeth (and opening your eyes real wide and maybe even taking a classic arms overhead and legs wide power pose) can do all the heavy lifting for you.

The act of smiling activates the muscles and nerves in your face including your vagus. The vagus nerve, your 10th cranial nerve, is directly linked to your ability to experience well-being (and so many other things). The vagus nerve in coordination with key facial nerves is stimulated when you smile. There is a physical, physiological, psychological, emotional pairing that occurs when you smile and it works both ways. Feel happy/joy/gratitude/love and smile (psycho/emotional —> physio/physical). OR smile and elicit the feeling of happy/joy/gratitude/love (physio/physical —> psycho/emotional).

You may not want to, but if you’re feeling worried, anxious, overwhelmed, exhausted, flat, apathetic, angry…all of the things…what do you have to lose? 

I like to do it with my kids because my kids give me a reason to be silly and this feels really silly. We often put on 80s music and dance around the living room too. 

Hey, whatever works. 

Loving you all. 

Psychology Today – Smile Therapy

Dr. Stephen Porges on the vagus nerve and empathy

Power Posing Is Back: Amy Cuddy Successfully Refutes Criticism