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Ep 36: Our changing industry – Do we fear or embrace change?

I’m excited to share this podcast with you for a couple of reasons. One, Melissa Kakavas and I met and connected several years ago while in the Balanced Body faculty training. We were thrust together spontaneously to make some videos for their enthusiasts collection, but had never even met. It’s not all that often that you meet someone and you instantly feel like “I get you.” Making videos is not easy, period, but trying to make videos WITH someone you’ve never met is, well…close to delusional. Somehow we just jived and that was that. Since then, we’ve developed a special kindred friendship.

The second reason is because there is a really sweet, and unexpected, connection we make toward the end of the podcast that is going to set you up for the release of episode 37 with Debora Kolwey where we talk about the mind’s habit to compare; the need to see things as black or white, right or wrong, better or worse. This is an important idea and really relevant to the teaching environment. I think you’re going to enjoy the flow from this conversation to the next.

And, there is a third reason, and that’s because the foundation of our conversation (although we don’t get to it for a while) is all about values. In the Skillful Teaching cohort we talk about values as Core Commitments, which is a term I stole from meditation teacher and author Sally Kempton. But no matter what you call them your values, what you’re most committed to is the river you’re floating in. And that river is not only ever-flowing, but it is also ever-changing. It is also the thing that can set you apart, help you stand out, carve out a niche, but above all else it’s literally what buoyies you to a good life worth living. Not an endlessly happy and perfect life, but a good life, one in which you can navigate all the suffering, changes, and ups and downs and still say I’ve grown a lot, learned a lot, and loved a lot.

I don’t want to draw this out too much longer, but I will say that I’ve also been titillated lately by a new book (many of you know I’m a total bibliophile), called “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson, which is all about giving a fuck; it’s all about values. It’s not only super funny, it’s also pretty right on when it comes to why we struggle so much in life and how we might struggle less if we just decided what we value.

This is a lengthy conversation, but well worth it especially if you find yourself struggling with how to navigate the challenges of our industry growing by leaps and bounds and deciphering a way to not only stand out and stay afloat, but stay true to your passion and reasons for teaching.

Enjoy!


About Melissa KakavasScreen Shot 2017-03-14 at 9.25.37 AM

Melissa Kakavas is the Director of Pilates Education and Programming at EVOLVE Movement in Raleigh, North Carolina. She is also a master instructor for Balanced Body and has been teaching and mentoring teachers for the past ten years. Melissa originally found Pilates in the early 90s while living in New York City and has been practicing and teaching ever since. She also teaches Gyrotonic, Gyrokinesis, and practices Thai Yoga Body Therapy. Melissa”s teaching style is warm and energetic, inspiring a healthy understanding of  the body, and a strong passion for movement.

Learn More

 

Upcoming Workshop w/ Chantill at EVOLVE Movement


 

  • Saturday, April 29th – Fearless Extension
  • Sunday, April 30th – Scoliosis & Osteoporosis Unraveled

For all the details: http://www.evolvemovement.com/events-workshops

 

Sans Heroes and Pro Tips


 

This podcast was a bit of an impromptu project, so we’re keeping it low key. We’re forgoing the Heroes and Pro Tips elements of the podcast this time around, but did want to share a few things we mentioned in the podcast with you.

Links and Resources


Connect With Us


Reach us Individually


  • Chantill – chantill@skillfulteaching.com
    • Phone – (707) 738-7951
  • Debora – dkolwey@gmail.com

Thinking Pilates Podcast - Connect with Us

Ep 35: Circle of Trust – LIVE Round Table @ Village Pilates, Chicago

What is a circle of trust? It’s a gathering of people who honor the process, not the outcome. It’s a coming together of diverse histories, experiences, strengths, skills, motivations, and talents in order to discover…something or maybe nothing.

The first and only place I’ve ever heard of a circle of trust is from author Parker J. Palmer in his book “A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey to an Undivided Life.” He also talks about the COT in one of my all time favorite books, “The Courage to Teach.” Palmer talks about the essence of a COT this way: “Honest, open questions are countercultural…”

Honest and open questioning is what you are about to listen to.

This episode is a very special moment in time with teachers who are exceptional, not for their technical skill, although that is in no short supply, but for their willingness to be vulnerable, to discover, and to be neither right nor wrong but instead aware and awake.

It might sound like I’m over-reaching or over-congratulating them, but if you were there you’d undoubtedly agree that there is something in the community at Village Pilates Studio that far surpasses most of the studio environments that you’ve experienced.

A heartfelt THANK YOU for all of the kindness and generosity extended to me by Regan Zubak and the teachers of Village Pilates, including Len Palomi, Kay Harmon, Julia Haptonstahl, Andy Cox, Cathy Ditto, Krystal Lee, Misti Fredstrom and those who came from afar: Sarah de Guia, Stephanie Constadine, Becky Vento, Becky Lenski, Naydia Miller Kull and so many others.

What an honor.

Heroes


Our “hero” for this episode is the aforementioned Parker J. Palmer and his book “A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey to an Undivided Life.”  I’ve “read” (listened to) this book several times now and it never disappoints. Along with his other book “The Courage to Teach” have helped me make some of the greatest shifts in my life and in my teaching and in bringing the two into balance, aligning them along the mobius strip.

A Hidden Wholeness is a relatively short read and is likely to nudge you in a direction that brings you a little closer to cultivating not only a fulfilling and successful teaching career, but a joyful and fulfilling life.

Here are a couple of quotes from A Hidden Wholeness that have been top of mind for me lately:

“Afraid that our inner light will be extinguished or our inner darkness exposed, we hide our true identities from each other. In the process, we become separated from our own souls. We end up living divided lives, so far removed from the truth we hold within that we cannot know the “integrity that comes from being what you are.”

“Solitude does not necessarily mean living apart from others; rather, it means never living apart from one’s self.”

“First, we all have an inner teacher whose guidance is more reliable than anything we can get from a doctrine, ideology, collective belief system, institution, or leader. Second, we all need other people to invite, amplify, and help us discern the inner teacher’s voice”

I hope you’ll investigate this resource and that it might take you to new and unknown, or rarely frequented, places.

 

Pro Tip


The Pro Tip for this episode is super simple: Allow your students to LEAD you.

This is different than teaching to the person/body in front of you. It is allowing the student and the body to make decisions independent of you and your feedback, cueing, opinions.

I worked with a wonderful and incredibly talented teacher at VPS who allowed me to help LEAD her out of herself and her present moment stories into a reclaimed sense of joy in movement. You’ll just have to listen to the podcast to get the juicy stuff, but the bottom line is this:

After you’ve cued, aligned, taught, touched, and demonstrated, it’s TIME TO SHUT UP AND BACK UP! Get out of the way. Students can’t find their own path, honor their own journey unless you get out of the way.

Consider the difference between guiding a student toward understanding and allowing a student to let their body guide them. In my experience this is the difference between “telling” our students what and how to be and giving our them permission (and an opportunity) to trust themselves.

Ultimately this is about letting your work migrate from higher brain function where there’s a steady list of things your student needs to accomplish, to lower brain function, where the list dissolves into knowing, intuitive, and responsive.

All it takes is this:

“Now, just move. Allow yourself to move and find the easiest, most enjoyable path into and out of the exercise/movement. Don’t think about the pieces, FEEL the whole. Move when you’re ready and at the pace and within the rhythm that feels organic.”

What would happen?

We risk very little in this moment. In fact, we take US out of the equation entirely and leave it up to the student to truly DISCOVER what is in them.

How could you do this today? Tomorrow?

(Good luck and we’re all counting on you 😉

Links and Resources


Learn More About Village Pilates Studio

Learn More About Parker J. Palmer and the Center for Courage & Renewal

Connect With Us


Reach us Individually


  • Chantill – chantill@skillfulteaching.com
    • Phone – (707) 738-7951
  • Debora – dkolwey@gmail.com

Thinking Pilates Podcast - Connect with Us

Ep 34: Brain, Mind, Body – The Missing Pieces w/ Anne Bishop

Ep 34 BBCWhat’s your brain got to do with it? What is your mind?

We are taught that Pilates is a body, mind, spirit approach, but one sometimes wonders (in my case a lot of the time) where the mind and spirit fits in when we were being taught.

Our podcast guest, Anne Bishop, founder of Body Brain Connect, is going to help us gain some insight into just how the brain fits into our mind/body approach and I dare say clear a more wide open path to spirit — in that trifecta.

The brain we really just don’t talk about. As for spirit…

We’re often told that the spirit part is subtle, an undertone, not something to be talked about overtly or directly because it’s too out of our scope, or because people are uncomfortable with the idea of what spirit might mean. It’s unfortunate that they’re not totally wrong when it comes to the latter part. However, Anne helps us find a way to connect the brain and the mind with the body in a way that is not only clear and concise, but incredibly powerful.

Hope this blows your mind, changes your movement and elevates your spirit!

Enjoy.

 

Heroes


Our “hero” this week is Vanessa Rodriquez, author of the book “The Teaching Brain: An evolutionary trait at the heart of education.” This book was recommended to me by Anne and it’s also one of the required reading texts for the Master’s Program. AND it’s utterly insightful and delightful.

One of the stand out points for me in this book is how the author explores the importance of awareness of self and others in the teaching paradigm. She lists 5 areas of awareness that are critical for cultivating your craft and becoming an expert teacher. She calls them the Five Awarenesses of The Teaching Brain and they are:

  1. Awareness of self as a teacher
  2. Awareness of learner
  3. Awareness of interaction
  4. Awareness of context
  5. Awareness of teaching practice

Here’s a tidbit from the book for you to enjoy:

She’s quoting Sanjoy Mahajan in this first paragraph:

‘Deliberate practice requires sustained concentration, and the rewards are subtle and apparent only in the long term. Thus, one needs motivation in order to enter into and sustain the hard work of deliberate practice. But the learning happens not simply through putting in the hours, but through doing so intelligently.”

In the most basic way, expert teachers are deliberate about how they reflect on their practice. They are aware of the multiple areas that they must consider in order to hone their craft: the learner, the interaction, the context, their teaching practice, and their overall lens as a teacher. Expert teachers ask themselves: “Why did I become a teacher? What are my assumptions about teaching? How do I approach teaching? What do I expect to get out of this enterprise?”

Wow!!! So good!

I hope you’ll check out this wonderful HERO! Here’s where you can pick up the book: http://www.teachingbrain.org/

Pro Tip


Thanks to Anne, we have a wonderful teaching tool called Visual Enhancement of Touch (VET) based on her work with bridging the gap between brain research and movement practice. This is a tool that Anne introduced to the Skillful Teaching Mentoring cohort last January and not only has it been helpful to me in my teaching of teachers, but to the teachers working with students a all stages.

Here’s how Anne first introduced the technique, although you can use it ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, with ANY EXERCISE.

Teaching/Informing Neutral Spine:

From your normal supine hook-lying position (the most common place for us to teach neutral spine) here’s what you do:

  • Students place their own hands on the ASIS
  • Cue them to rock the pelvis from 6 o’clock to 12 o’clock (anterior/posterior tilting), making sure to tune them into the outer sensations of their pelvis and back touching or not touching the floor, movement under their fingertips, areas of tightness, effort etc.
  • Then have them curl up just enough so that they can SEE their hands on their pelvis and continue the rocking.
  • Cue them to notice what it feels like when it looks a certain way. Where is their body in space when they experience a certain sensation. Trying to draw their attention to the visual experience while coupling the more felt experience (bridging the gap between seeing and feeling = enhanced proprioception)

 

This VET can be done standing as well. One of my favorite ways to teach finding neutral is to have a student place their hands on their ASIS as above, but stand perpendicular to a mirror. They rock their pelvis as before but now turn their head to SEE what the body looks like as they experience what it feels like both from their hands and tracking any “felt sense.”
I tend to use a mirror A LOT for these purposes and get the students to inquire about what they’re experiencing as they move vs what they’re seeing as they move. I find this has a tremendous impact on their spatial awareness as well as their ability to formulate more articulate questions and problem solve for themselves. In short, you’re empowering them to discover their bodies for themselves rather than depending on you to always TELL THEM.

Links and Resources


 

Learn More About Body Brain Connect & Anne Bishop M. Ed

Learn More About The Science & Psychology of Teaching Master’s Program

 

Connect With Us


Reach us Individually


  • Chantill – chantill@skillfulteaching.com
    • Phone – (707) 738-7951
  • Debora – dkolwey@gmail.com

Thinking Pilates Podcast - Connect with Us

Ep 33: How to break the rules – When questioning is the answer.

Today we proudly bring you episode 33 staring one of our new co-hosts, mentor and teacher, Trinity Minty. Even though we are technically one third of the way to 100 it somehow feels like this is still only our second episode. We’ve gotten so much wonderful feedback as a response to our new and improved production and to the additional elements, that I’m having that same giddy feeling as when we first launched.

I’m particularly excited about today’s podcast because not only do we get to be a part of an interesting discussion that challenges the way we think about some of what teach — it’s all about questioning and not taking things at face value — , we’re also going to witness something that, for me, is truly tremendous, something that deeply reflects the why of what I do…

 

Heroes


As the co-host of today’s show, I asked Trinity to choose who or what she wanted to share with you in this section and her answer was so totally perfect, but not at all where my head was. Her answer was a group of courageous and sincere teachers that are taking big risks and making big changes. To hear Trinity talk about the teachers currently participating in the Skillful Teaching 28-Day Fulfilled & Successful Pilates Teacher online course:

Listen to the podcast at around minute 52:00.

Another hero I thought you’d all enjoy, which in some way totally plays into being able to seek out your own answers and be authentic, is infamous TED Talk presenter and social psychologist Amy Cuddy and her new book “Presence.”

“Presence” is straightforward and insightful, although not entirely astonishing if you’re a movement teacher. What I’ve loved most about the book is learning about the plethora of research that is proving how the state of our body informs and influences, changes even, our sense of self, security, power, confidence, and how in turn these things help us face our most challenging moments.

Here’s a short excerpt I thought might entice you:

 

“The way you carry yourself is a source of personal power — the kind of power that is the key to presence. It’s the key that allows you to unlock yourself — your abilities, your creativity, your courage, and even your generosity. It doesn’t give you skills or talents you don’t have; it helps you to share the ones you do have. It doesn’t make you smarter or better informed; it makes you more resilient and open. It doesn’t change who you are; it allows you to be who you are.”

 

  • Amy’s TED Talk: Your body language shapes who you are – HERE 
  • Presence” on Amazon – HERE

Pro Tip


Because we wanted to encourage you to explore the idea of questioning after the show, our Pro Tip for this episode looks at how you might change your perspective on one of our most loved and loathed Pilates exercises…(of course you know what I’m talking about, I can practically hear you all saying it from here)…the 100!

Here are our suggestions:

From the starting position, lift and lengthen out reaching the arms long, collarbones wide. Begin pumping the arms, inhaling for a count of five, exhaling for a count of five. With your exhalation, can you curl up a little higher?

The above is a typical way you’d hear the 100s being taught.

What if we simply omitted the cue of reaching the arms and collarbones wide and instead focused on creating spinal flexion that is deeply supported from the back body, which has the potential to relieve some tension in the throat and shoulders and improve breath?

Something like:

When you begin to lengthen the legs out, soften the sternum downward and draw the ribs into the body, curling up from that initiation point. Allow the arms to lengthen and begin your pumps. The arm pumping works in a way that gets the circulation working.

What you may see when cueing with this focus is the ribs moving toward the back body in a way that lends to the appearance of the collarbones narrowing. However, how does the abdominal curl itself look? Does the spine look fully supported in flexion? For me, coming into spinal flexion from supine with a strong cueing of the arms long and collarbones wides, feel like I am working against myself.

Also consider starting the 100 not from supine, which requires so much more of the body and not always in a good way, and come into the position from sitting or balance point, then rolling back, gradually coming into the position with your shoulder blades and ribs completely off the mat (this is reminiscent of a more classical position for hundreds – in a deep imprint). Explore whether or not the flexed position feels more supported from the back of the hips, legs, and spinal extensors and whether or not you still feel like you’re hanging off the front body, the neck especially, in an effort to fight the tireless pull of gravity?

Our experience is that this way of working into the 100 helps people find greater joy and value in the exercise and motivates them to work at it.

We’d absolutely love to hear what you think about this.

 

Links and Resources


 

Connect With Us


Reach us Individually


 

  • Chantill – chantill@skillfulteaching.com
    • Phone – (707) 738-7951
  • Debora – dkolwey@gmail.com

Thinking Pilates Podcast - Connect with Us

Ep 32: The Absolutely fabulous women of Primal Movement WORKS

tpp-ep-32Join me in this fantastic interview with the talented, funny, and successful band of mighty misfits, the founders of Absolute Center in Lafayette, CA: Claudia Moose, Katie Santos, and Louise Johns.

In this episode you’re going to get a lot of laughs (that’s I think par for the course with us), get a ton of great insight into how to make business partnerships not only work, but thrive and discover more about the origins of Primal Movement Works and their upcoming teacher training.

You may have heard Claudia on our last podcast “Live from the PMA”. If you did, then you know that you’re in for a treat. If not, let’s not waste any more time…

Below you’ll find two of our cool new podcast elements: Heroes and Pro tips. We hope you love these new additions and they bring a little more value to your teaching.

 

Heroes


First on our list is one of Claudia’s favorite books:

And if you haven’t checked out what osteopath and acupuncturist Phillip Beach is doing, we highly recommend you investigate his book:

Not only does the Primal Movement Works training program draw from Beach’s work, his archetypal postures and erectorcises are making a huge impact in the Pilates community as we look beyond fixed structure and predetermined movement to something that’s more resilient and truly human.

Our final “hero” is a little self-serving but also deeply in the service of moving our professional industry into the digital health arena. If you’re a regular listener you heard me interview Pilates Metrics founder, Joseph Quinn in Episode 29.

Pilates Metrics is an outstanding and powerful new cloud-based ipad app that is ultimately helping Pilates become more credible and viable as a proven tool for injury prevention and rehabilitation. What it does for you is help you plan, program, track and assess digitally, which provides more concrete data and more motivation for you and the student to stay the course, adapt, build and progress through the Pilates work.

The app itself is incredibly malleable allowing you to choose from 9 or 10 exercise libraries to work from. The libraries provide a technical and philosophical platform from which you teach. Some of them are based solely on a school’s training curriculum like Polestar and Fletcher Pilates. Others, like the one Skillful Teaching created, is based on a teaching philosophy.

The heart and soul of the Skillful Teaching library is a WHOLE PERSON TEACHING approach.

 

Pro Tip


Given all of that, our pro-tip for this episode is Keep it Simple and Let it go. Let go of form and explore what movement potential exists in the body as it is. See if you can find ways to open the body up to it’s own current potential rather than being so focused on what movement should look like. One way I’ve found to do this, working with the spirals of the feet in foot work is to deliberately work off center and to move through the varying angles and positions of the foot as the load of the springs oscillates and progresses. Watch how your student adapts, where they’re compensating in the knees, pelvis, low back and shoulders.

The caveat is that you work on a relatively light spring (1R, 1B to 2R) and the body you’re working with doesn’t have any acute foot, ankle, knee or hip issues. Keep your students safe, of course, but let them see how their bodies can move out of alignment. I think what you’ll find is that they have way more potential than you thought.

I’d love to know how that goes.

 

Links and Resources


Upcoming Primal Movement WORKS Training:

  • Primal Foundations
    • January 28th & 29th
    • Register HERE

Connect With Us


Reach us Individually


 

  • Chantill – chantill@skillfulteaching.com
    • Phone – (707) 738-7951
  • Debora – dkolwey@gmail.com

Thinking Pilates Podcast - Connect with Us

Fearless Teaching – What if you didn’t need to be RIGHT?

What does fearless teaching look like?

To answer that question we have to begin by asking another more poignant question, one that you might not want to answer and one that might be difficult to answer honestly:

How committed are you to being right?

Now hold on. Before you just jump in and say “No, that’s not me. I’m totally willing to be wrong. I’m comfortable with that, with not having the answers. I totally feel fine when I’m not right” I want you to stop for a moment and be really, really honest with yourself.

Imagine a situation near or far from this moment when you remember not being right whether you were struggling to answer a student’s question, or you didn’t know what to do or where to go with a student because some unexpected challenge had arisen, or someone actually challenged you. PuMrRightt yourself in the situation fully. Who was it, when was it, where were you, what was the question you couldn’t answer or the problem you couldn’t solve or the student you couldn’t get through to (and I know that happens ALL the time, so finding a situation shouldn’t be that hard).

Play this little game with a teaching situation and a personal situation THEN ask yourself again: How important is it to me to be right?

To give you a bit of perspective here’s what needing to be right or feeling like being right is a definite drive looks like:

  • You are asked a question by a student (or colleague) and you don’t have the answer or you only have part of the answer and you’re maybe not that sure even about that part. You start to feel sweaty, awkward, uncomfortable. Your throat constricts a little, you get a bit panicky, you start to feel like you are inadequate, unskilled, lack knowledge, self-doubt seeps in. Maybe you get defensive, maybe you deflect, maybe you try to turn the conversation elsewhere or say that the answer to the question is really just not that important.
  • You have a student who is severally challenged and you are constantly asked to be creative with how you apply the work. On this occasion you feel like you’re really onto something, you’ve come up with a strategy, exercise, program that you are confident is going to work, maybe even offer a little breakthrough. You ask: Do you feel that? Doesn’t that feel better/stronger/more open/easier? Can you feel the difference now? And the answer is a firm “NO.” Ack! What?! You were so sure and the movement looked so good. Maybe they just don’t get it. Maybe they can’t feel it. Maybe they don’t know how to articulate the change. NO?! Now what? You start to worry that you’ve gotten it all wrong, you misread the situation, you don’t really know what you’re talking about. Or you get frustrated with the student because obviously they are not doing something right. You ask them to do it again, you guide them overtly to what it is you want them to experience.

Panic, confusion, self-doubt, defensiveness, paralysis, annoyance, a lack of presence, blame (blame on your student/other person or yourself)…All of these experiences indicate that you are indeed not comfortable with being right and may even be attached to being right.

Let me say here that WANTING and NEEDING to be right is not the same as having a strong desire to be wise, knowledgable, helpful, and effective in our teaching. Wanting and needing to be right is a distortion of the latter thing based on sustaining the ego’s top position in our subconscious psychological hierarchy.

Our, likely unacknowledged, commitment to being right also looks more subtly like this:

  • Always telling our students what to do:
    • Constantly offering corrections (repeating the same corrections over and over again).
    • Always telling them when a correction needs to be made and how to do it.
  • Not educating our students as to WHY we are doing what we’re doing or even WHAT we are doing:
    • Not taking the time to teach our students the names of the exercises.
    • Not taking the time to teach our students how to change their own springs.
    • Not putting a priority on self-practice and home-practice.
  • Never asking our students what their experience is of a movement, task, exercise:
    • Not asking specific questions about their experience (asking “how was that for you” doesn’t cut it. Any question that they can say “fine” to is out).
      • Instead asking questions that are specific and will lead the student to turn their attention — either beforehand or afterward — to a clear aspect of their experience.
        • “When you reach your right leg and your left arm do you notice any tension or pain along that diagonal? Do you experience more power in the connection to…”
    • Only asking questions that we know we’ll get a “yes” to.

Our desire to be right comes from a motivation to make a difference and keep our students safe. And it also comes from a place of saving face, looking good/smart/insightful. The latter attachment gets in the way of powerful, fearless and unapologetic teaching. It gets in the way of the student’s success and instead puts the teacher’s success at the center.

I’m guilty of this and I’ve watched countless (well intended and talented) teachers do this over and over again.

What it ultimately leads to is complacency in both. It also leads to students being held hostage by their teachers because they never truly make lasting and sustainable change.  (This is a topic we’ve dived into before at ST and you can learn more about this important skill HERE.)

Instead of searching for and constantly prompting the “yes” answer in order to satisfy our desire to be RIGHT, what would happen if we were committed to the “no”? What would happen if we were able to show up for each class and session not only expecting the “I don’t get it” response, but welcoming it?


Case in point: 

A few days ago I had the absolute pleasure of watching a teacher work for 2 hours with a young man in his 30s with a spinal cord injury. The student is a quadriplegic and has been working Pilates professionals for about a year now with great success.

What I saw was one of the most straight forward, unapologetic, and absolutely genuine teacher-student experiences I’ve ever seen. Honestly, with all the master teachers I’ve had the pleasure of observing and working with I can truly say that this was an exceptional experience. And it wasn’t really about what was done, although that was great too, it was about how it was done.

The teacher, James Crader of Evolved Body in Gold River, CA, was totally present and absolutely unafraid. Throughout the session he never asked “Is that okay? Are you feeling like that’s too much? Should we slow down?” He was purposeful and direct and just did what needed to be done. And he was, from the outset, kind, funny, and opened himself up (without compromising his objective) to what I’d call I’m just a dude real, human engagement. No pretenses, no excuses, and no attachment to being right.

In fact, it was in that session I first had the thought: What if we actually WANT the “no” answer? Could this keep us committed to curiosity and learning rather than getting things right?

James’s fearless compassion and curiosity looked like this:

  1. Throughout the session he was not only totally present, but unapologetic about either any uncomfortable positions (particularly when maneuvering the student around) or challenge the student might be feeling. AND this was consistently balanced with a sense of intimacy and awareness that seemed to hold both of them with total compassion. James always sought ways of making it most comfortable and beneficial, but when things went awry, which they did often enough, there was absolutely no resistance or hesitation. There was just…figure it out and keep going.

  2. Laughter and personality, not just the teacher face.
  3. Educating: “The reason we’re going here is to… . Remember we were talking the other day about _____? This is about taking this deeper.” (I’m paraphrasing this part.)
  4. When the answer to any question was “no” or “not really” James’s response was something like:
    • Okay, I’ll take that.
    • Okay, let’s try this…
    • Think of it this way…
    • Let’s take this from another direction…
    • That’s so interesting that you’d say that. Let me put it this way/Let’s try it again, but instead do ____
  5. There was never “You feel that, right? Isn’t that great?” comments, which I generally hear ad nauseam. What I heard a lot of:
  6. Notice how _____ feels and where the work is coming from/how you could make that different/work more from ____ etc…
  7. What I want you to explore is _____. How are you going to do that?
  8. What breath are you going to use there?
  9. Could your neck get longer?
  10. Could you connect back into the _______?
  11. You have 6 more repetitions to _______ (experiment with how to work more from the back/how to get more _____/find a peaceful breath whatever that means to you.

In their book The 15 Commitments of a Conscious Leader authors Diana Chapman, Jim Dethmer, and Kaley Klemp talk about above or below the line leadership or consciousness. Taking “radical” responsibility is their number one commitment. Above the line responsibility looks like a willingness to be wrong and accept every situation as it unfolds – no resistance or wanting the world to be different. No “I should know the answer” or “This should be working.” Below the line responsibility looks like blaming ourselves (we teachers are particularly good at this and this is BELOW THE LINE) and others when things don’t go right. It looks like being totally committed to being right (in all of its insidious forms).

When we are above the line responsible, we can also be more fully present. The situation is no longer about getting something, but about learning something. In teaching I find this to be the number one thing that defines great teachers. A commitment to learning, to being curious, to loving the “No, I’m not getting this” answer, and to be unapologetic about what they have or don’t have to offer. They just are. Nothing to prove.

What would it look like to be a fearless teacher? What would it feel like to invite and love those moments — as many and varied as they are — of not knowing the answer or not getting the outcome we’re searching/hoping for?

For me, it’s a totally relief! It creates space for investigation, exploration, and truly being in relationship with not only my students but my work. And I freaking LOVE what I do, so this is nothing but GOOD all the way around!

Your Challenge:

  • The next time you’re teaching notice all the small ways you desire to be right and also notice how this motivation might be keeping you from truly listening, being present and learning (how it separates you from your student.)
  • Next time you find yourself defending a position to a spouse, partner, friend, or colleague notice why you need to be right and what it might be like to simply try to understand where the disconnect might be.
  • Make a list of all the reasons why being right/getting it right feels important. Which of these things is driven by above the line responsibility or below the line responsibility.

I’d love to hear what you think about this and how it goes.

Share below in the comments.

Mwah!
— c

Ep 20: So you want to teach teachers? Pilates Education Institute

Ep 21: Zen and the Art of Teaching with Tom McCook

Tom McCook is one of my all time favorite teachers not only to study with but to just be near. There are those rare people who you gravitate toward as if they were pulling you into their orbit – that is Tom. Learn how this deeply calm, compassionate and inquisitive teacher builds his teaching foundation.

Apologies in advance for the poor sound quality. It’s totally worth it.

Ep 18: How The Pilates Philosophy Will Help You Not Be Afraid To Ask For Money

This brief recording is an exploration of how, by knowing, understanding, and integrating the Pilates philosophy we can more easily and authentically guide our students down a direct path to practicing with us. Learn what you can do to get more comfortable with selling what you do simply by getting excited and being honest about the Pilates method.